Wolfsbane
by terri-lynnashley87
Summary: Remus and Lily share a moment during one of his transformations. One-shot. Remus/Lily.


****AN: Not really sure why, but I've been obsessing over Lily/Remus lately. I am seriously beginning to think that they're my OTP, apart from Dramione. This is a one-shot and I really hope all you readers like it (:  
-xo!

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**Lily's POV:**

It was today. That one dreaded day of the month. The one that hurt all of them, but especially Remus. Just the thought of Remus' body contorting in strange directions made Lily's stomach churn. She hated seeing him like that.

The Burrow was buzzing with the members of the Order of the Phoenix, and Lily found Remus deep in conversation with Sirius, James and the others in the kitchen. She stood in the doorway, leaning against the doorjamb, her arms crossed over her chest. They were all huddled together, whispering hurriedly, as if they didn't want anyone to hear them.

Lily pushed herself away from the doorframe and rounded the kitchen. She collected the last of the Wolfsbane potion, which she, herself, had concocted. After pouring it into a goblet, Lily walked back to the table and placed it down in front of Remus.

"It's time," was all she said, her eyes meeting with James' as his head snapped up. Her bright green eyes connecting with his hazel ones and she knew immediately what he was thinking. "I can do it. The potion helps," Lily said quietly, her eyes unmoving from James'. The hard look on his face told her that he didn't approve of this option. The look in hers told him that it was the only option. It was obvious that James was deep in his discussion with Sirius.

Turning her attention back to Remus, Lily placed her hand on his shoulder. "Drink up," she said gently, her hand squeezing his shoulder comfortably. "It's almost dark." She knew it was a terrible reminder, and she hated to have to be the one to remind him. But, Lily knew that all of their calendars were marked with the same date every month.

Her eyes moved elsewhere in the room as Remus drank back the potion. She felt him shiver under her hand, and heard a heavy sigh resonate from him. Slowly, he stood, pushing his chair out from behind him noisily. He shrugged Lily's hand from his shoulder roughly as he made his way to the back door and out into the large yard.

Lily knew not to take Remus' actions personally. It was hard from him, and Lily understood that he was not happy with the way the moon treated him.

On her way out the door, Lily grabbed a hand-knitted sweater and followed him. He kept walking, only for a few feet, while Lily sat on the steps, her arms wrapped around her swelling belly.

"You were talking about the prophecy again, weren't you?" Lily asked in a whisper, causing Remus to freeze. The crunching from the frost under his feet stopped, though he didn't turn to face her. It was still light out, the sun almost ready to set behind the hills. Lily knew it would still be a little while before he began the transformation.

She could hear everything outside – Every sound echoed around them. She heard him take in a deep breath before the frost on the grass crunched again and he turned to face her. He took a few steps until he was directly in front of her.

"Lily," Remus whispered. He slowly turned and sat down next to her, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "You have a baby to think about. You can't think about fighting in this War." His eyes were focused in the distance, toward the dark trees. "He's important, Lily. You heard it straight from Dumbledore. He /needs/ to be protected."

Lily felt a lump form in her throat. Remus was her closest friend, and to hear him talk like this made every realization settle into place. Her hand went immediately to the little bump in her stomach and she sighed. The tiny creature within her was truly a miracle. Their miracle. The whole Wizarding world's miracle.

With her eyes moving to the horizon, Lily swallowed the lump in her throat. "We should get you away from here," she murmured, pushing herself up from her place on the step. She waited a moment, and when Remus didn't move, she offered her hand to him.

Lily had found a comfort in Remus – and him in her – when she couldn't in James. When James was busy making plans with the rest of the Order, Remus and Lily would sneak away, finding comfort in their own little world. Sometimes, they wouldn't even speak – Just sit together, in silence, and pretend none of the terrors around them were real.

"You shouldn't be out here alone," Remus said, taking her hand as he stood. The shakiness in his voice obviously showed that he still didn't trust himself. Then again, how does one trust a werewolf? Lily wasn't sure, but she knew that she'd trust Remus, no matter what form he was in. "You could get hurt." There was a coldness in his voice that was unfamiliar to Lily.

"I can handle this, Remus," Lily whispered, her head turning and lifting up to look at his face. She squeezed his hand for reassurance, but she only heard him sigh. "The potion helps you, remember?"

"Not all the time," he said quickly, his dark eyes turning down to her. They were at the edge of the garden now, where the field and hills began.

Lily could feel dusk settling in around them, and a chill ran through her body as she remembered the last time she saw Remus transform.

**Remus' POV:**

Remus stood quietly at the edge of the garden for what seemed like an eternity. Not a word was said between him and Lily as they both waited for the moment the sky turned black and the moon revealed itself. The worst part of the transformation, Remus thought, was knowing what would happen at any moment. He would tear from his flesh, his bones extending, his teeth narrowing. He wouldn't remember who he was anymore, and that fact scared Remus the most.

A lump formed in his throat as he watched the sun finally fall over the horizon. What had only been five minutes since they spoke felt as though it were a thousand years. They were as far away from the house as the large garden would allow. All of the others wanted Remus to stay close to the house during his change, in case things got out of hand. Remus knew it was only because Lily was with him. But, he wouldn't hurt Lily. He could never hurt Lily.

Remus felt his breath quicken as he watched the perfectly rounded moon appear from behind a cloud. The glow that it gave off would have been spectacular, had it not been for its consequences. His hand tightened around Lily's, and he could see the fear in his eyes.

"You should take a step back," he said, his voice husky. When he felt Lily's hand let go, he heard her gasp, and that was the last thing he remembered.

**Lily's POV:**

"Remus!" Lily said in utter shock. She'd seen this before, but each time had a greater effect on her. She watched as his limbs grew longer, his eyes dilated, and his teeth and nails narrowed, becoming sharpened at the edge. She knew that he could very easily rip out her throat at any moment, if he so wished. But she also knew that it wouldn't be Remus. She knew that Remus never remembered anything from his transformations. Of course, the Wolfsbane potion did help, and he recently began remembering little blurbs from his changes.

She took a step toward him when the change was finally complete and he shrunk away from her. It was obvious that he was in pain, but as she reached out to touch him, his head lifted as he let out a deafening howl to the moon. Lily was sure that everyone inside the house could hear it.

"Remus," she repeated, this time in a whisper. Her hand was still outstretched to him and he made no move away from her. Carefully, Lily placed her hand on Remus' inhuman-like arm. Causing her a surprise, he leaned into it, more human that Lily thought he could be.

"It'll be okay," she whispered, her eyes looking up at him. When he caught her gaze, his black eyes pierced hers. They were pools of hurt and loneliness. She searched them desperately, trying to find something through his disbelief.

It astounded Lily the amount that the potion actually affected him. Since the four of them – herself, James, Sirius and Peter – had been forcing him to take the potion, Lily could see the change. Remus was still able to hold on to a part of himself. Of course, some nights were better than others, but he was still Remus.

Looking around for a moment, Lily realized that if they sat where they were, they could lean, rather comfortably against the tiny fence. Giving him a questioning look, Lily sat, her hand falling from his arm. She pulled the sweater tighter around her tiny frame, surprisingly cold. Her head and back leaned back against the fence as she looked up at him. "Might as well get comfortable," she murmured. "We're in for a long night."

With that, Remus sat next to her, curled up almost like a dog would. He didn't touch her though – He simply sat there, staring out into the distance.

"Do you think things will be easier?" she asked quietly, staring into the same black space as Remus. "When this war is finally over, I mean."

Remus didn't move for a long time. He sat perfectly still – The only part of his body that moved was his chest as he took a breath. Then, his head turned and looked down at her. Lily met his eyes, and she could see that they had changed. Now they were filled with care and longing. Without any words being spoken, Lily could tell that Remus wanted that just as much as she did.

Her whole insides quaked as a sob broke through her. She couldn't stand to see her truest friend in pain like this. She listened as a tiny whine escaped Remus, then as his pointed snout leaned up and touched her cheek. The physical closeness between the two caused a smile to light up Lily's face.

Without another word, she scooted closer to Remus, wrapping her arms around him. She pulled him closer to her, and his abnormally large head rested on her shoulder.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered, repeating the mantra in her head.

**Remus' POV:**

Soon enough Lily drifted off to sleep, but Remus remained awake throughout the whole night. The pain that ran through his joints and muscles was a constant reminder of what he was.

At some point during the night, their positions changed, and Lily was soon leaning against Remus, though he didn't hold her, or comfort her. He couldn't allow himself that satisfaction – He didn't deserve it, and he couldn't betray his best friend. He was a monster, and he couldn't hurt Lily in the way he knew he was capable of.

Remus loved Lily. He loved her since the moment he met her. It seemed most people tended to. Of course, how could they not? Her beautiful red hair and bright green eyes. She was so enveloping. Everything about her entranced him.

The rest of the night continued on the same way – Lily sleeping peacefully and Remus getting caught up in his thoughts and guilt. He stared off into the darkness, watching as the moon circled overhead, and eventually, the sun came up again.

As the sun rose from beyond the hills, Remus felt his bones shrinking back into place. He moved away from Lily slowly, jostling her from her sleep. His face melted back into its normal shape, and his body convulsed the same way it did after every transformation. He fell down onto his knees as his stomach heaved.

**Lily's POV**:

Coming back into full consciousness, Lily quickly took off her oversized sweater and draped it down over Remus' shoulders. When his body finally stopped, she looked at him, straight in the eyes. Slowly, cautiously, she moved in, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I'll be right back," she whispered to him, before standing and running to the house to get him some clothes.


End file.
